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Its worse than Diet Coke. All three of the women who invade ukmom my home four days a week to give Dave some therapy about himself are so fucking sincere it makes me want to put out a cigarette on my nipple. I made this kid dammit. His bachelor pad is still shyly peeking over my waistband. I crafted him out of semen and arrogance and dammit, he makes me laugh all day. The special instructor who came this morning gave ukmom us a magnet to go on the ukmom car in the shape of a ribbon. You know the ones the thousanduplets have on their trunks, making the paint uneven. The ones that say I care about my pet cause. This one has puzzle pieces and says something advertising the fact that "baby who counts the monsters on Sesame Street is on board." And I know she means to help, and I do like her work on which I plan to expound in a paragraph or so, but keep the chicken soup for the soul splatter off my bad ride, yo!
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