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Friend Guy countered with, "Billy Mays is the Stain Specialist because he has a beard." And I opened my mouth and out came the biggest drunk toilet internet cliche since the for christ sakes hampster dance: "Chuck Norris has a beard, and you don't see him using a Gopher!" Friend Guy said, "He's Chuck Norris, and he could..." he struggled to find the best part of the Chuck Norris list. I waved my hand in drunk toilet the "go on..." gesture. drunk toilet "He could Chuck Norris that door open!" finished Friend Guy. "Chuck Norris the door open!" scoffed Cashier Guy as I walked out the door without the Gopher, Chuck Norris, or a cheapskate of a husband. Then I went home, gave Dave the benadryl and he threw up all over me. Autism causes a little thing called "Extreme Oral Aversion" in some kids, see, and the only things that go in Dave's mouth are mashed potatoes, chicken soup, and ice cream. Its like OCD with choking and puking instead of counting and hand washing.
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