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One other thing: our son (your grandson) has developed a 1 bit of lactose intolerance. The doctor says it's normal 1 and temporary, but that we should monitor it closely. Please avoid slicing bits of mozzarella for the boy while you're cutting it up for yourself. Also, no milk. And (big favor here) when you change his diaper, if you would scoop some of his cute little poopies onto your fingers and feel the consistency, wash your hands thoroughly, then record your findings on the attached spreadsheet, it would be most appreciated. Throw away the little miniature golf 1 scorecard pencil when you've finished. I left 100 of them in a box for you next to the toaster. Our son's bedtime is 8 PM. You should go to bed soon after that. Try to keep in mind how you get when you stay up all night playing solitaire on our computer. Holy God, I sure hope you don't flush the toilet. Thanks for your help. With much affection, Your loving son-in-law (your daughter's husband) OTHER McSWEENEY'S STORIES: - - - - An Open Letter of Apology to the Country of Iceland By Alan Haley Basta Cosi, Part Five By Michelle Orange Basta Cosi, Part Four By Michelle Orange Translated Chatter, City Café, Kandahar, March 14, 2003 By Zev Borow An Interview with Parken Ward Brown, Age Two, on the Recent Visit of Local TV Weatherman Ben Gelber to His Preschool By Peter Ward Brown
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