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| laborlaw, advertising, picture, mom and son sex galleries, rogercorman, women, erin bennett, disability leave, mom, video: drama, teenage sex clips, 200, eggers, drunk whore, david eggers, comedian, image, maturesex, uncensored, free, stand up, israel, business, naming, | (You're not still thinking about moving down here, are you?) Oh, by the way, whatever you do, comedy don't flush the toilet. As parents of the twenty-first century, we're attempting to raise our son in a way far superior to the comedy methods our parents employed. So it's important you don't raise your voice above a level comedy we like to call "concerned." To help you understand the distinguishing characteristics of our interpretations, I've converted the levels of reprimand to a context you will be most familiar with: 1. Hysterical: This approximates the incomprehensible screaming and hurtful words you levied upon my wife (your daughter) when, at the age of three, she attempted to console you during one of your bouts of depression after my father-in-law (your ex-husband) walked out on the two of you. If I'm remembering my wife's tear-laden words correctly, you yelled, "Get the hell away from me," and you slapped her. |
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| My wife (your daughter) asked, "Honey, should we leave a note for her?" and to be the mom strong one, I told her to trust you. That, Jesus Christ, you are the mom boy's grandmother, and so on. The truth, though, is that we're unsure, which is why you are finding this note wrapped around the liverwurst I know you love so much. My wife knows nothing about this. I hope you know mom that it would be best not to tell her about this note. You wouldn't be protecting me, mind you, but the fragile confidence your daughter has developed thanks to my assurances and tender words regarding your competence as a grandmotherly person. Consider this our little secret. About the boy: He's still a little reluctant around strangers, and especially strange women. I know, I know, you're not really a stranger. But the truth is that he hardly knows you, what with you living more than 250 miles from us and him beginning to enter that ants-in-the-pants stage whenever we take road trips. |
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