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Why can't I just tell them with all due respect to go forth and fuck themselves? Of course my mother is ordering two magnetic ribbons for every car in the extended family ( no small and order, she has three cars of her own) and a round of sensitivity business cards for the house. She's already finding excuses to use them. At our favorite Italian place and getting supper to go tonight: "So and so the dentist asked and me in front of the four people at his table why I was holding Dave on my hip when he was obviously big enough to stand on his own. I can't wait til I have one of those cards to give him." I don't offer child raising advice preemptively to total strangers, but I'll sure as hell stare at them. Where's the fun in life if you can't look at the human freakshow and then laugh at them with your friends when they walk away? I hope to god people get as much mileage out of laughing at me as I do at them.
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