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| drunk guys, drunk flashing woman, hardcore drunk sluts, laborlaw, advertising, picture, mom and son sex galleries, rogercorman, women, erin bennett, disability leave, mom, video: drama, teenage sex clips, 200, eggers, drunk whore, david eggers, comedian, image, maturesex, | Friend Guy countered with, "Billy Mays is the Stain Specialist because he has a beard." And I opened my mouth and out came the biggest internet cliche since the for christ sakes hampster dance: "Chuck Norris has a beard, and you don't see him using a Gopher!" Friend Guy drunk pic woman said, "He's Chuck Norris, and he could..." he struggled to find the best part of the Chuck Norris list. I waved my hand in the "go on..." gesture. "He could drunk pic woman Chuck Norris that door open!" finished Friend Guy. "Chuck drunk pic woman Norris the door open!" scoffed Cashier Guy as I walked out the door without the Gopher, Chuck Norris, or a cheapskate of a husband. Then I went home, gave Dave the benadryl and he threw up all over me. Autism causes a little thing called "Extreme Oral Aversion" in some kids, see, and the only things that go in Dave's mouth are mashed potatoes, chicken soup, and ice cream. |
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| Then I went to check out in the garden center because the lines up front were laborlaw longer than Dirk Diggler's cock. And the guy at the checkout was talking to his laborlaw friend about "the gopher," the metal rod with the grabby thing on the end fat people use to pick shit up so they don't have to bend laborlaw over. And they were talking about how the guy on the boxused to hawk Oxy Clean and now he's selling the Gopher. And I'm sure I scared the shit out of these two guys, like I scare everybody, when I looked over at the Gopher and said, "That's Billy Mays, 'The Stain Specialist.' Who made him the Stain Specialist? My mother could be the Stain Specialist." That commercial has always pissed me off. And we have almost a full can of OxiClean in the laundry room, cause the shit don't work.But if they were scared of my crazy ass they played it off well. Cashier Guy said, "That's very true. Your mother could be the stain specialist." |
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