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| muse, naming tools, audio, massachusetts drunk driving law, product, tremendous, drunk spring break girl, advertising, branding consultants, drunk flashing woman, gigglechick.com, naughtiest games, views, | So I stripped off to my bra and panties while my mother threw the kid in the tub and we laughed like hell while I jessica cleaned up the couch and because I had been wanting a cig since 5 PM, I jessica smoked one on the back porch, in my underwear, behind my lovely privacy fence. Now my mother is washing mine and Dave's clothes, cause she's the Stain Specialist. Currently listening: Living With Ghosts By Patty Griffin Release date: By 21 May, 1996 6:25 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment jessica Thursday, January 12, 2006 Have Assholes Touched Your Life? Current mood: furrowed brow I can't stand humorless sincerity. Its worse than Diet Coke. All three of the women who invade my home four days a week to give Dave some therapy about himself are so fucking sincere it makes me want to put out a cigarette on my nipple. |
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| Friend Guy countered with, "Billy Mays is the Stain Specialist because he has a beard." And I opened my mouth and out came the biggest internet cliche since the for christ sakes muse hampster dance: "Chuck Norris has a beard, and you don't see him using a Gopher!" Friend Guy said, "He's Chuck Norris, and he could..." he struggled to find the best part of the Chuck Norris list. I waved my hand in the "go on..." muse gesture. "He could Chuck muse Norris that door open!" finished Friend Guy. "Chuck Norris the door open!" scoffed Cashier Guy as I walked out the door without the Gopher, Chuck Norris, or a cheapskate of a husband. Then I went home, gave Dave the benadryl and he threw up all over me. Autism causes a little thing called "Extreme Oral Aversion" in some kids, see, and the only things that go in Dave's mouth are mashed potatoes, chicken soup, and ice cream. Its like OCD with choking and puking instead of counting and hand washing. |
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