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| stage, teenage sex clips, drunk driving law, competitive name analysis, mother son., exquisite, comic strip live, absolution, momfucking son, andrewmother fucking hutchins, brutal, britney, angry about, company, comedy, mad about, image, drunk whore, sledging(cricket), drunk naked woman, gladys' comedy room, david eggers, drunkteen fuck, | Instead of giving us more bloodshed and merciless drunk toilet beheading, the second half of the movie is mostly people talking. It's Depp explaining his theory, then it's the bad guy drunk toilet saying how she would get away with it, and why she did it. I just kept thinking, "Shut drunk toilet the fuck up and let the Horseman kill some more people." On top of that, Depp's fraidy-cat hides sometimes and acts with courage at other times. There is no reason for when he is brave and when he is scared, except, I guess that the story needs him to be brave sometimes. Maybe these scenes would have been better if the characters didn't sound so lame. The dialog, of which there is none when the Horseman is chopping up people, is so stilted and cornball that it's laughable. The actors practically choke on their awkwardly ancient sentences. And Depp's accent makes him sound like a street urchin in the Arvada Community Theater presentation of "Oliver Twist." |
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| Maybe it's to make it dreamlike, or maybe it's just because Burton is a exquisite nut and does weird stuff for his own reasons. I guess it's supposed to remind us of those old English horror films, but I seriously doubt all us dumbfuck out there will get that reference. And the whole movie's tone is so damn close to black and white that they might as well have gone all the way, saved film costs and passed the savings on to us. All this mood and ambience went a long exquisite way toward covering the thin story. Okay, exquisite so people are getting their heads cut off. Okay, Depp is there as a pant-pissing big city wiener who must overcome his own fears and arrogance to solve the case. Sounds like a good one hour movie. Unfortunately, they made it two. They mixed the good shit with the belabored mystery. I not only didn't care about who was directing the damn horseman, I got tired of trying to follow that story as it became more and more convoluted. The mystery part is shitty, too. I kept thinking of old Scooby Doo episodes as Depp put his clues together and solved the crime. |
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