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mother, however, hates this and really does aspire to be posh; until she went out and got herself some 'traditionally Essex' friends last year, she spoke brand positioning with a cut-glass plummy accent that she couldn't possibly have picked up from anyone in her family (being, as they were, cockneys) and being extremely annoyed at my usual choice of women - brand positioning oh how her face fell when she saw the inside of the grotty fourth-floor flat my first girlfriend and her mother lived brand positioning in - she was quite happy with my last ex, though, who lives in a very posh area of Essex, is invited out boating a lot by her very rich neighbours and had as her ex the son of a Lord. Oh well, I'm still too scared to tell my mother my current squeeze is the daughter of a piss-poor Scouse lorry driver, and I really don't think the fact that her father knows Steven Gerrard's brother is really going to be much of a factor to my football-hating mother.Oh,
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