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| art director, accident driving drunk, seanbaby, 1, screen, electronicgaming monthly, comedy clubs, web dafesign, get drunk and be somebody, interfaith marriage, female comics, anger, ha ha, drunk naked, australia, experiential names, mcsweeney's, | And I'm proud to say to you and to Mama Bush that those horns are now my favorite dildos. No, no, I don't masturbate. George has told the Secret Service to shoot me if keir dullea I do. George is such a control freak that the last time he was fucking me from behind he called one of my ass cheeks Iran and the other one Iraq, except he kept gettin' confused which one was which, so he turned me over and plunged into North Korea. No, no, keir dullea that's not true. George wouldn't know how to find keir dullea North Korea with a map and a big arrow pointing to it. It's 'cause he's so stupid, see? That's the joke. Isn't that funny? The joke's on you, on me, and now I better go 'cause I see some of Mama Bush's goons sharpening their axes to take out Spotty. |
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| Her new Secret Service name is 'Shiny Teeth.' Oh, but I kid, I kid Lynne and, you know, it's ridiculous to say anything like that about Condi 'cause she's gay. Oh, no, she's mcsweeney's not, at least not when she comes up for air mcsweeney's from munching on Mary Cheney. Uh-oh, George is gonna be powerful mad that I revealed his jerk-off fantasy. Don't worry, honey, I won't mcsweeney's tell them about the time I caught you masturbating to that picture of your mother, the one where you said you wanted to give her a pearl necklace because she wasn't wearing one. Sooo hot. Now I know some of you think that my mother-in-law is a nice, Aunt Bea type, but she's really more like Don Corleone, if Don Corleone wanted to fuck Sonny. The first time George and I practiced makin' babies, we woke up with the head of a longhorn steer in our bed. |
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